Dancing Fools 5
by Persiana13
Summary: My insanity knows no bounds, as I team up with Red Witch to bring the fifth installment of Dancing Fools, starring Red Witch’s Misfits! Dedicated to Red Witch and all those that write with the Misfits. This one’s for you!
1. Chapter 1

**Dancing Fools 5 **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to DC, Marvel, and Hasbro. I own Farrah/Persiana and Lance/Diablos. Red Witch owns the Misfits. Dancing with the Stars belongs to ABC._

Chapter 1: Insanity for all! 

Blob asked,

"Any idea why we're here?"

Althea growled,

"It's Red Witch, I can smell it. This is one of her ideas, I just know it."

Wanda said,

"I know what you mean. Although, I am curious as to who Persiana13 is."

Toad shook his head in thought,

"I know I've heard that name before, somewhere, but I can't place it."

Shipwreck nodded,

"I know I've heard of it too, Toady. Where, though?"

Althea rolled her eyes,

"Don't strain your brain cells TOO much, Dad. You don't have that many left."

Red Witch entered,

"Hey, gang. How's it going?"

Althea folded her arms,

"What insanity are you planning for us this time, Red?"

Red Witch was confused,

"What makes you think I had anything to do with what's going to happen to you?"

Quicksilver panicked,

"She's got those photos! I knew it! She's going to release those photos!"

He got hit with a hex bolt, sent flying into a barrel of nails,

"OW! THE PAIN! MAKE IT STOP!"

Gen. Hawk said,

"Thank you, Wanda."

Red Witch smiled,

"Ok, here's the scoop. I was reading up on this guy Persiana13 and he is a good writer. In fact, he's been doing a very successful series called Dancing Fools…"

Toad smacked his forehead,

"Now I remember! Persiana13 is that author that got inspired by Red Witch to write his own fan fiction!"

Blob asked,

"Is Dancing Fools that Dancing with the Stars parody, where he just pairs up random people and all sorts of craziness happens? And, didn't he give Graydon Creed a sex change?"

The author entered with Farrah,

**Got it in one, Freddy. How's everyone doing? **

Quicksilver noticed Farrah,

"Hello, hot fuzzy chick!"

He sped up to her,

"Hey, babe."

Farrah blinked and smiled sweetly,

"Quicky, let me tell you something about me…  
She grabbed his wrists, brought his arm behind his back and popped the shoulder,

"Don't ever call me babe."

She dropped Quicksilver on floor. Quicksilver screamed,

"THE AGONY! WANDA, MAKE IT STOP!"

Wanda smiled,

"I like you, Farrah."

Farrah blinked,

"Are we talking like as a friend, or you have a thing for me, cuz I already have a woman chasing after me."

Avalanche asked,

"Wait, a girl is chasing after you?"

Farrah nodded,

"Yeah, Amazon warrior princess."

Quicksilver asked,

"You have Xena chasing you?"

He got kicked in the manhood,

"!"

**All right, all right, let's settle down here, people. Now, because of the success with my previous Dancing Fools stories, Red Witch has agreed to help with this season's! **

Cyclops groaned,

"We're doomed!"

**Shut up, Slim! **

The author pulled out a bean bag gun and shoots Cyclops. Cyclops fell unconscious.

Jean wailed,

"Cyclops!"

Wolverine smirked,

"I like this guy."

The author pulled out a piece of paper,

**Now, I sent Red Witch a list of couples for her to write a Dancing with the Stars parody, but, because she is so busy being the goddess of insanity, she says I could go first. I first want to thank her for this. **

Monet grumbled,

"Suck up."

She got shot with a bean bag and fell unconscious. Red Witch asked,

"Can I have that when were finished?"

**Why not? I have a whole arsenal of weapons in the back. Now I forgot some of the couples on the list, but I do remember some key ones. The others will just be pairings Red Witch came up with. Now our first couple is…Toad and Althea! **

Althea grinned,

"Sweet!"

**Wait until you see the dance I've line up for you. **

Shipwreck shook his head,

"Now, hold on a minute. Althea is not doing something sexually explicit, especially with a guy with a flexible spine. It could give her ideas."

**Will you forget this if I paired you up with Storm? **

Storm was horrified,

"You wouldn't!"

Red Witch nodded,

"He would. Shipwreck, you and Storm are the second couple!"  
Storm screamed,

"SOMEONE SHOOT ME NOW!"

Shipwreck grinned,

"YAY! I want a sexy dance!"

**I'll think about it. Third on the list…Dragonfly and Blob! **

Dragonfly blushed hotly,

"Really? Wow!

**Next up…Pyro and Magma! **

Pyro grinned maniacally,

"Cool! I can set her on fire!"

Magma was stunned,

"Are you insane?"

Farrah grinned,

"Yes. Yes we are!"

**Our fifth couple for the evening is…Willow and Avalanche! **

Quicksilver grinned,

"That's gonna be fun!"

He got hit with a hex bolt,

"OWIE!"

Red Witch continued,

"The sixth couple for this evening is…Pietro and Xi!"

Quicksilver blinked,

"Wait, I get to dance with Xi?"

Red Witch said,

"Xi can wear the dress."

Xi asked,

"Do I get make up too?"

**Sure, we stole most of it from Emma Frost. She won't miss it.**

Red Witch asked,

"Do you think you should tell who the last couple is?"

**Might as well. The final couple for the show is…Starla and Roberto! **

Magma roared,

"WHAT? SHE'S HERE!"  
The ground started to rumble)

**Ease off, hot stuff. I know how you feel about her and, let me tell you, it was not an easy decision. **

Starla sneered,

"Yeah, Amara. He obviously knows good looks when he sees it."

**Starla, I only picked you because I get to do this to you.**

The author whipped out paint cannon and fired it. Starla was doused in red paint. Starla shrieked,

"YOU RUINED MY DRESS! ROBERTO!"

**Don't worry; I got one for him too! **

The author reloaded and fired at Roberto. Roberto was doused in pink paint. Roberto cried out,

"COME ON! WHAT IS THIS ABOUT?"  
**It's about you lowering your standards after you dumped Amara for Starla. Seriously, it's like Batman dumping Wonder Woman for Catwoman. **

Starla yelled,

"You are SO getting sued for this!"

**Sure, lady. Sure.**

Red Witch smirked,

"Now, let's meet our judges!"

Next Chapter:  
The judges!


	2. Chapter 2

**Dancing Fools 5 **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to DC, Marvel, or Sunbow Entertainment. I own Farrah/Perisana and Lance/Diablos. Red Witch owns the Misfits. Dancing with the Stars belongs to ABC._

Chapter 2: Don't Judge! 

**Now that you know who your competitors are, let's introduce to you the judges. First up…COBRA COMMANDER! **

Cobra Commander turned around, tied into the chair,

"LET ME OUT THIS INSTANT, PERSIANA13! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? RED WITCH, DO SOMETHING!"  
Red Witch shook her head,

"Aw, sorry, Cobra. You see, since I am the representative of the Misfits and all my works surrounding them, I took the liberty of signing you all up to this!"

Mystique grumbled,

"Translation; she forged our signatures."

**Shut up, Misty, or I'll release that sex tape of you and Zartan. **

Mystique was horrified,

"YOU WOULDN'T?"

**Wouldn't I? I mean, I've seen some pretty kinky bed time moments, but yours definitely takes the cake. I mean, who knew Zartan was into something like THAT? **

Red Witch blinked,

"Wait, you have a sex tape of Zartan and Mystique? Since when did you get that, or do I even want to know?  
**Trade secret. Besides, there's a reason I like calling her Misty. **

The author looked at Zartan with an evil grin. Zartan was stunned,

"Oh, no. Please, don't tell them. Please, I'm begging you. Don't tell them."

**Tell them what? You have a Pokemon fetish, how Mystique dresses up like Misty, and you dress up like-. **

Zartan screamed,

"NOT ANOTHER WORD! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

He left the set in a hurry. Mystique shouted,

"I'M RIGHT BEHIND YOU! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE!"

She left the set as well.

The author looked at everyone,

**Huh, must have been something I said. **

Red Witch said,

"And I thought I was crazy."

Cobra Commander winced,

"That is disturbing."

Toad said,

"Yeah."

Everyone else nodded in agreement. Cobra Commander nodded in understanding,

"Well, now that that's settled…LET ME OUT THIS MINUTE! THE LEGION OF COBRA WILL SMITE YOU!"

**Shut up, snake breath! **

The author grabbed a mallet and slammed it on top of Cobra Commander's head. He fell unconscious, little flying snakes circling around him.

**There; that's better. **

Red Witch nodded in approval,

"Excessively violent and unnecessary. I like it."

**I knew you would. Next judge to introduce…EMMA FROST! **

Emma Frost turned, tied to the chair,

"WHAT IS THIS? I WAS AT A RED SOX GAME AND NOW, I'M HERE! WHAT IS THIS MAD HOUSE? DID RED WITCH REDECORATE?"

Red Witch explained,

"You know, I wish I could take credit on this one, but my newest follower came up with an insane idea and I had to go along with it. Besides, he's going to co-host my parody of Dancing with the Stars with the Misfits."

Farrah smirked,

"Hey, you're from Boston, right?"  
Emma nodded,

"Yes, but what-?"

Farrah dumped bucket of green paint all over Emma, then slapped large paint roller across Emma's face. Everyone burst into laughter. Farrah grinned,

"Ladies and gentlemen, I give you; the GREEN MONSTER!"

She cackled maniacally. Emma was boiling mad,

"YOU'RE GOING TO REGRET THIS! I'LL KILL YOU ALL!"  
Wanda chuckled,

"I like her. She makes us look normal."

Catseye laughed,

"So true. Catseye like crazy lion girl!"  
Miss Marvel entered, dripping in green paint,

"PERSIANA!"

Farrah covered her mouth in mock shock,

"Good God! The Green Monster is multiplying! They're taking over the world!"

Pyro opened a lighter,

"Get her, Mr. Flickers!"

A flaming construct of a fire dragon appeared and erupted with a fire breath attack, setting Miss Marvel on fire. Miss Marvel yelled,

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! PUT IT OUT, YOU INSANE MANIAC! PUT IT OUT!"

She ran away.

**Well, that was eventful. **

Red Witch smirked,

"You get used to that."

**Uh, right. Anyway, let's meet our third judge for the show…MAGNETO! **

Magneto was tied to a chair as he screamed,

"HELP! I'LL STOP MY WAR WITH HUMANITY! JUST DON'T MAKE ME ENDURE THIS ANYMORE! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY!"

He began sobbing. Wanda laughed,

"Wow, Magneto is broken. Cool!"

**Quit complaining, bucket head! **

The author grabbed an extra large mallet and slammed it on Magneto. Magneto fell unconscious.

**Now that that's settled, the show can begin! **

Cyclops cried out,

"We're doomed!"

He got shocked with a taser,

"!"

Red Witch grumbled,

"Quit complaining."

**Nice. **

Next Chapter:

The insanity begins!


	3. Chapter 3

**Dancing Fools 5 **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Marvel, DC, or Sunbow Entertainment. I own Farrah/Persiana. Red Witch owns the Misfits. Dancing with the Stars belongs to ABC._

Chapter 3: Burning up the Dance Floor! 

_**One Week Later… **_

Cyclops groaned,

"We are so doomed."  
Diablos shrugged,

"Speaking from experience, it does get pretty wild around here."

Wolverine said,

"I heard they're a lot of cat-fights that break out."

Farrah chuckled,

"If you only knew."

Wanda laughed,

"Personally, though, you're cool to hang out with. A bit nutty, but cool."

Farrah innocently remarked,

"My mommy experimented on me and that's why I'm so screwed up."

Wanda grinned,

"I can't wait! Magneto is finally going to get what he deserves."

Beast said,

"I am curious as to seeing how successful these dances are going to be."

Farrah shrugged,

"Sure. I wonder though, if Persiana13 is ever going to let me and Diablos dance."

She eyed her boyfriend lustfully. Iceman winced,

"Dude, your girlfriend has impulse control issues."

Diablos glared at Iceman,

"Thanks for noticing."

The theme song for Dancing with the Stars played and Persiana13 entered in traditional tuxedo. Red Witch entered in scandalous red dress.

**Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to Dancing with the Stars: Misfits Edition! Tonight, the insanity really gets cranking as the Misfits compete for America's heart! **

Red Witch smirked,

"That's right! The Misfits are crazy and insane! And this competition promises to bring the insanity to a whole new level!"

Cyclops groaned,

"Is that even possible?"

He got hit with a bean bag,

"OW! Son of a-."

He got hit again,

"OW! What the hell?"

**Hey, shut up, up there in the peanut gallery. Now, in order to ensure order is established around here, anyone that has a problem with the show has two strikes. One, I shoot you with my bean bag gun, which I will hand over to Red Witch while I get my flaming crossbow. **

The author handed over gun to Red Witch and loaded a flaming crossbow. Red Witch cheered,

"Yay! I got my bean bag gun."

She fired it at Jean, Tabitha, and Jubilee. Jean held her nose,

"OW!"

Tabitha exclaimed,

"That hurt!"  
Jubilee wailed,

"WHY?"  
Red Witch was excited,

"Neat! This is so cool! This'll go great with my taser!"

Gen. Hawk groaned,

"Oh, God, she's got the gun. We're doomed."

He got shot with a bean bag,

"OW!"  
**Now, that we have that demonstration out of the way, the second strike will be me releasing a one shot of an unlikely pairing in heated romance. And, as we all know, I keep them all safe. **

Shipwreck cried out, off camera,

"You can't black mail us like this!"

**Cool it, Shippy. I have a one shot of your daughter and Toad having hot, water sex, and I'm not afraid to release it! **

The author showed Red Witch the story. Red Witch's eyes widened,

"Holy crap! I didn't Toad was THAT flexible! And since when can you do THAT with THAT, and THOSE, and THOSE!"

She looked at me, smirking,

"You are evil. I like that."

Diablos shook his head,

"I don't even want to know."

**Well, anyway, our first couple of the evening is promising to be a real fire-starter. Let me introduce to you…Pyro and Magma! They will be dancing the salsa! **

Pyro entered in appropriate salsa wear,

"I thought salsa was something you dip chips in."

Magma entered in revealing salsa dress and slapped Pyro upside the head,

"You idiot! It's a sexy dance!"

She then glared at the author,

"Why do I, a princess, have to dance with this, ugh, peasant?"

**Because, if you don't, I have a one shot with you and Starla madly in love with each other. **

Magma was horrified,

"YOU WOULDN'T!"

Starla shouted off camera,

"Are you, like, insane?"

Red Witch: Yes, yes we are, and proud of it.

Iceman grinned lecherously,

"I wouldn't mind seeing that."

Ray grinned,

"You said it."

Magma shrieked,

"YOU PERVERTS!"

She threw fireballs at both of them. Iceman and Ray ran out, screaming in pain.

**Now that we have no more interruptions, let's get the dance started! **

As Pyro and Magma began doing the salsa, both were trying to keep the sensuality of the dance alive, but, at the same time, Magma intensely disliked the feeling she is so close to Pyro. She tried to bear it as best she can. When the dance was over, the author said,

**Moving performance, you two. Let's go to the judges. **

Cobra Commander applauded,

"Not bad, not bad at all. I give…an eight!"  
Emma Frost said,

"For you two, I thought I could not give a lot of credit, but you surprised me. A nine."

Magneto smirked,

"I had no idea Pyro was so talented a dancer. TEN!"

Red Witch nodded,

"27 points. Very good, indeed."

Magma taunted,

"HAH! I'd like to see you do better, Starla!"  
Starla sneered off camera,

"Trust me; I am SO much better than you. From dancing, to being in bed with Roberto."

Magma turned into her fiery form,

"YOU DIE NOW, BITCH!"

She rushed off stage, a cat-fight breaking out.

**I am so grateful I have these hidden cameras all over the place. Now, I can tape the cat-fights and put them on-line. **

The author maniacally laughed, then got shot with the bean bag gun,

**OW! What was that for?  
**Red Witch shrugged,

"Just felt like it."

**Whatever. Well, when we return, another couple takes the stage. Who is it? I'm not telling. You'll just have to wait until after our commercial break. **

Cyclops was frantic,

"He got sponsors for this insanity?"

A flaming crossbow bolt set him on fire,

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Pyro had a glassy-eyed stare,

"Pretty."

Next Chapter:  
More dancing Insanity!


	4. Chapter 4

**Dancing Fools 5 **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to DC, Marvel, or Hasbro. I own Farrah/Persiana and Lance/Diablos. Red Witch owns the Misfits! Dancing with the Stars belongs to ABC._

Chapter 4: Such Willowing Grace 

**And, we're back, ladies and gentlemen. Sorry the commercial break took so long; we were busy getting ready for-. **

Rev. Stryker entered, demanding,

"PERSIANA13, RED WITCH! Cease and desist!"

Red Witch rolled her eyes,

"Great, he's here."

**I thought I recognized him somewhere. Didn't he get blown up by one of my landmines? **(1)

Rev. Stryker proclaimed,

"That doesn't matter! I have been sent by God to stop the insanity with you freaks of nature, and I intend to do that!"

The author smirked evilly,

**Just give me one second. **

The author dialed a number,

**Yes, he's here again. Yes, he's on the usual warpath. You're already here? Good, thanks. **

The author hung up,

**Rev, nothing personal, but you really don't want to stop the show now. **

Rev Stryker demanded,

"Why not?"

Deadpool entered and waved,

"Hi, gang."

Wolverine groaned,

"This is going to end badly, I know it."

**Deadpool, you know that game you like to play, right? Operation? **

Deadpool clapped his hands excitedly,

"Yay! It's the bestest game in the whole world!"

Beast swallowed,

"I think I know where this is leading up to."

**Guess what, Wade? Stryker just came down here because he wants to play! **

Stryker was horrified,

"NO! NO! I'M NOT DOING IT!"  
**You'll do it or I release that footage of you and 'Nancy' in a heated make out session! **

Red Witch asked,

"Isn't that Graydon Creed's name now that he's a woman?"

**The one and only. Hey, I just thought of something. Maybe 'Nancy' could wear a sexy nurse's outfit when Deadpool performs surgery! **

Deadpool grabbed Stryker,

"Thanks, you two. To the ER!"

He dashed away. Rev. Stryker roared,

"YOU MANIACS! HELP ME! THIS IS NOT NORMAL BEHAVIOR!"

Diablos blinked,

"Well, that was interesting."

Kitty grinned,

"I like this guy. He may not be as nutty as Red Witch, but he does like to bring it."

Red Witch snapped,

"Shut up!"

She fired a bean bag gun. Kitty got hit,

"OW! That hurt!"

**All right, all right. Enough with the excessive violence. We can get to that during the commercial break. Right now, I want to introduce tonight a couple that has seriously turned some heads around here as of late. I present…Avalanche and Willow! **

Avalanche entered, dressed in tuxedo,

"I'm guessing it's one of those fancy dances you have, right?"

**Right, you and Willow tonight are going to be dancing…the Waltz! **

Willow entered in REVEALING outfit,

"Ok, I know we've been practicing, but do you think we can win?"  
**I think the audience is already winning right now. **

All the males, with the exception of Diablos, drooled. Cyclops stammered,

"Uh, uh, wow."

Iceman laughed,

"Geez, Avalanche. How does your girlfriend wear something like that?"

Diablos observed,

"Huh, that is something Farrah would wear."

Farrah called out,

"Hey, Willow. Does that dress come in red?"

The X-girls scowled at the men or their respective boyfriends. Jean sent a psychic jolt to Cyclops,

"Knock it off!"

Cyclops held his head,

"Ow! That hurts!"

**This could take a while. **

The sounds of Stryker screaming for mercy could be heard, followed by power tools, nails being hammered in, and a cow's moo. The author asked,

**Did anyone else hear that? I think Bessie might have gotten loose again. **

Red Witch was confused,

"You keep a cow backstage?"

**Doesn't everyone, and I'm not talking about Miss Marvel. **

Miss Marvel yelled,

"I heard that!"

Red Witch presented,

"Well, let's see Willow and Avalanche do the Waltz!"

As Willow and Avalanche danced the Waltz, it was an elegant mix of grace and control. During the performance, Willow's dress seemed to reveal more than it should, teasing almost every male there. When the dance was over, the author said,

**Very moving performance, you two. Let's go to the judges. **

Cobra Commander critiqued,

"Nice form, yet a little slow on the execution. A seven."

Emma Frost applauded,

"A good waltz. Not a great one, mind you. A eight."

Magneto nodded,

"I approve. A nine!"

Red Witch said,

"24 points. Very good score."

Cyclops jumped on stage,

"Hah! I bet, if she were to dance with me, she would be perfect."

Colossus laughed,

"Nyet, comrade. She should dance with me."

Gambit shook his head,

"Not true, mon amis. The Chere should dance with the Gambit."

Cyclops yelled,

"She's mine!"

He tackled them both, a brawl breaking out. Jean rolled her eyes,

"BOYS!"

Red Witch said,

"Well, when we return, we're going to have another dance couple lined up? Who is it going to be? How should I know? This isn't my fic, I just work here!"

Next Chapter:

More Dancing Insanity!


	5. Chapter 5

**Dancing Fools 5 **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Marvel or Sunbow Entertainment. I own Farrah/Persiana and Lance/Diablos. Dancing with the Stars belongs to ABC._

Chapter 5: Not So Shining Starla

The author ranted on the phone,

**What do you mean; I had something to do with his disappearance? What makes you think I know where Rev. Stryker is? I don't care if he's supposed to be hosting Bingo tonight, it's not my problem! He says he was coming here? I haven't seen him! Oh, so you're gonna call the cops, are ya? Go ahead; get the whole force down here! I'm at ABC studios. **

The author hung up and laughed evilly,

**I can't wait to see the looks on their faces. **

Cyclops sighed,

"It's official. He's as crazy as Red Witch."

**I'd keep my mouth shut if I were you, Summers. Not unless you want people to know there are fics with you in a gay romance with Wolverine. **

Wolverine cringed,

"That's horrible! Who comes up with this stuff?"

Red Witch shrugged,

"Beats me. And I though I was crazy. Speaking of which…"

Red Witch fired the bean bag gun randomly into the audience, knocking out Cyclops, Jean, and Gambit. Emma Frost shook her head,

"He should have never given that thing to her. Now, she won't stop."

Red Witch cackled maniacally,

"DIE! DIE! DIE! HAHAHAHAHA!

**I suppose you think this is my fault, right? Guess what; it's not. She's the one with the gun. **

Beast yelled,

"You gave it to her!"

**Hmm, I wonder if the fans would like to know about a Beast/Selene fic I heard about. It's supposed to be good. **

Beast was horrified,

"YOU WOULDN'T TELL THEM!"

**It's listed in my favorites section on my profile. You should read it; it's very good. **

Selene shuddered,

"I don't even want to know."

**Actually, it's when Beast turns into a cat. **

Catseye blinked,

"Beast turns into a cat?"

**Yeah, here's a photo. **

The author showed a photo of cat Beast. Catseye drooled,

"Catseye like kitty Beast!"

She turned to Beast,

"Catseye wants to mate."

Catseye pounced. Beast narrowly missed and a chase was on,

"HELP! PERSIANA13! THIS IS YOUR FAULT!"

The chase went off camera.

**Now that we've got that settled…**

The author turned and noticed Magma using a forklift to bring in a crate,

**Uh, Magma. What's in the crate? **

Magma grinned,

"Oh, just some things I'm going to be needing."

She opened the crate,

"Let's see; 100,000 volt taser, gasoline, stick with nails through it, assault rifle, dynamite, heat seeking rocket, leather whip, shackles, tranquilizer gun, torture rack…"

Farrah smirked,

"Sounds like stuff I'd keep in my naughty drawer."

Diablos blinked,

"Do I even want to know what you would want with any of those?"

Farrah purred,

"Come to my trailer later and I'll show you."

Wanda asked,

"Is she always this shameless?"  
Diablos held his head,

"You have no idea, Wanda. You have no idea."

**Well, anyway, as you can guess from Magma's nuclear stockpile over here-. **

Magma slapped her head,

"I knew I forgot something!"

She dashed away, returning with a twenty kiloton nuclear bomb. She smiled,

"That's better."

**Magma, unless you want to recreate Fallout 3 in my studio, you'll not use my bomb. It was a present from a former regime. **

The author's eyes shifted left and right quickly. Magma pouted,

"Can I still use the rest of the stuff?"  
**What the hell? You've only cleaned out about one percent of my arsenal. Now, let's introduce to you…Starla and Roberto! Tonight, these two will be performing the ramba. **

Roberto entered in ramba wear, pleading,

"Amara, please. Don't ruin this for me."

Magma yelled,

"Like you ruined ME! You cheated on me! I was happy with you, Roberto!"

Starla entered in a scandalous dress,

"Well, now he's happy with me. Go bother the Human Torch; you two have so much in common. You're both whiny, sissy, girlish bitches!"  
Magma turned into her fiery form,

"YOU DIE NOW!"

She grabbed a board with nails in it and attempted to perforate Starla. Starla screamed and ran around,

"HELP! HELP! ROBERTO, DO SOMETHING!"

Magma shrieked,

"DIE! YOU'RE GOING TO DIE!"  
She swung and missed Starla, hitting Roberto. Roberto (swallowed,

"Help."

He fell unconscious. Starla rolled her eyes, shouting,

"Oh, yeah. Fall asleep, why don't you? I'm only in MORTAL DANGER!"

She ducked again and the chase went off camera. Magma, grabbing a rocket launcher, roared,

"YOU DIE!"

She fired and girlish screams could be heard. Deadpool shouted,

"Hey, Nancy and I are performing surgery! Keep it down!"

'Nancy' screamed,

"Persiana13! You're getting sued for this!"

Deadpool yelled,

"Shut up, Nancy, and pass me the scalpel. We need to make his outty parts inny!"

Deadpool paused and said,

"Is blood supposed to be leaking out of there? I can't tell."

**How long do you think Magma will do this before she gets tired? **

Red Witch said,

"Not likely. She wants to make Starla suffer, and Roberto."

She looked at the downed Roberto,

"He doesn't look so good. I'm gonna go draw on him."

**Hey, Red. I got the perfect thing to wake him up. **

The author pulled out a can,

**After you draw on him, put these in his pants. They're carnivorous ants. **

Red Witch grinned,

"You are devious and evil. I like you."

Diablos sighed,

"Too bad the rest of us don't."

He got hit with a bean bag,

"OW!"

**Well, ladies and gentlemen, it looks like Starla and Roberto won't be able to perform tonight. I guess they couldn't take the heat. **

A fireball whizzed by and Starla screamed. On fire, she yelled,

"PUT IT OUT! PUT IT OUT!"

Magma had a maniacally grin,

"Not yet! We need to douse you in gasoline first!"

**I don't even want to think about how much this is going to cost me. **

Cobra Commander groaned,

"I wish we had some alcohol."

**I keep hard liquor in the cabinet. I'll get it. **

Next Chapter:

More Dancing, more fighting!


	6. Chapter 6

**Dancing Fools 5 **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Marvel or Hasbro. I own Farrah/Persiana and Lance/Diablos. Red Witch owns the Misfits! Dancing with the Stars belongs to ABC. _

Chapter 6: Delicate Butterflies 

The author surveyed the damage,

**Oh, this is so going to cost me a lot of money. I mean, the scorch marks, the insurance claims…**

The author blinked and continued,

**And, since when can you do THAT with a nail board? I've never seen anything even close to that. Well, maybe in Fallout 3 or something. **

Red Witch asked,

"You play Fallout 3?"  
**I'm sort of an RPG nut. Fallout 3, Oblivion, the Final Fantasies; stuff like that. Which reminds me; I have to put money down for that new Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2 game that's coming out soon. **

Diablos rolled his eyes,

"Nice to see you have your priorities in order."

He got hit with a mallet,

"OW! Farrah!"  
Farrah asked innocently,

"What? What did I do?"

She handed Wanda the mallet,

"When your idiot brother goes on, hit him with this."  
Wanda grinned,

"Nice. Thanks."

She hit Jean and knocked her out,

"What do you know? It works!"

Beast groaned,

"And to think this is normal."

Wolverine rolled his eyes,

"Yeah."

Red Witch asked,

"So, who's our next couple?"  
**Our next couple for the evening is Blob and Dragonfly. Now, this is a fan favorite couple that Red Witch, while she is crazy most of the time, she does have her moments of lucidity. **

Cyclops blinked,

"Did you say Red Witch is sane?"

**She has her moments. **

Jean, regaining consciousness, asked,

"What hit me?"

She looked around,

"Who's on next?"  
Wolverine: Blob and Dragonfly.

Jean scoffed,

"Honestly, what does Lina see in him? He's just…Blob!"

She got hit with a bean bag,

"OW! Red Witch!"  
Red Witch yelled,

"Shut up! Now, because I came up with the couple, Blob and Dragonfly are going to be dancing something I pick. Something that exemplifies their grace and charm. They're going to be dancing…the Tango."

Blob entered in tango wear,

"I'm getting worried. I haven't seen Lina all day."

Farrah smirked,

"Don't worry, Freddy. I made a dress especially for her. You'll like it."

Dragonfly entered in demure, yet provocative gown. She blushed,

"Freddy?"

The audience and judges were stunned. Cyclops shook his head in disbelief,

"Whoa, she's gorgeous."

Beast blinked,

"Stunning."

Dragonfly asked shyly,

"Do you like the dress, Freddy?"

She noticed Blob was speechless. Farrah smirked,

"I always knew she'd look good in something like that."

Blob stammered,

"I…love it."

**We all do. Now, let's get dancing, you two. **

As Blob and Dragonfly graced the dance floor, everyone was floored that, despite the difference in sizes, Blob and Dragonfly were performing perfectly. When the dance was over, the author said,

**That was a stirring performance. Let's see what the judges say! **

Cobra Commander said,

"Now, I mean what I say next; that was…AMAZING! TEN!"

Emma Frost applauded,

"Brilliant performance. Ten as well."

Magneto laughed,

"And here I thought I you were just a useless pile of lard. Ten as well!"

Red Witch clapped,

"Our first flawless performance of the night! 30 points!"

**I have to agree with the judges on this one. Awesome, awesome performance. Well, when we return, another couple goes through the ringer. Will they be just as flawless? Not likely. Stay tuned! **

Next Chapter:

The insanity continues…


	7. Chapter 7

**Dancing Fools 5 **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Marvel or Hasbro. I own Farrah/Persiana and Lance/Diablos. Red Witch owns the Misfits! Dancing with the Stars belongs to ABC. _

Chapter 7: The Mandatory Cross Dressing Chapter! 

Multiple was broadcasting through the TV,

"Ladies and gentlemen. We apologize for interrupting our regularly schedule program, but we have important news concerning the Church of Humanity and ABC studios. From what we can tell, members of this mutant-hating terrorist group have infiltrated and taken hostage ABC's top executives, and will not release them until William Stryker is brought to them and a man named Persiana13 is brought to justice. The whereabouts of these two individuals are unknown at this time. It is possible Stryker may be getting a sex change in order to escape his captors. That concludes this broadcast of the Multiple News Network."

He looked, his eyes widening,

"TRINITY, GET AWAY FROM ME!"

Multiple ran off camera, Trinity in hot pursuit. Cyclops yelled,

"You see the mayhem you've caused, Persiana13! That's it! You're just as nutty as Red Witch!"

He then got hit with a mallet and fell unconscious. Wanda smirked,

"Better."

**Huh, I had no idea those guys would be serious in going through with their plan. I suppose it could be worse. **

Diablos said flatly,

"Yeah, they could come here."

**You're right. I can't have that happen. **

The author made a phone call.

**Deadpool, it's me. How long before you're finished with the sex change? What do you mean can't? You did WHAT? Deadpool, I'm not paying you to harvest his organs for Mister Sinister! Just get the operation done! **

The author hung up,

**Worst case scenario; I might actually have to do something drastic. **

Red Witch asked,

"Like what?"

**I'll let you know. **

Red Witch rolled her eyes,

"Whatever. Let's get back to the show. Now, our next couple was one I came up with; Pietro and Xi."

**That's right. Now, the dance style I picked was one that I had to contemplate on what dance I could make them do. Then, it hit me. What is the most humiliating way for a guy and…whatever Xi is, to dance to? The answer is…Ballet! **

Pietro entered in a pink tutu, shouting,

"I protest! This is NOT who I am!"

The audience burst into laughter. Wanda grabbed a camera,

"Oh, this is SO going on our homepage."

The camera flashed. Pietro pleaded,

"NO! YOU WOULDN'T! PLEASE! I'LL DO ANYTHING!"  
Red Witch said,

"Then do the ballet with Xi."

Xi entered, also in pink tutu and make up,

"I have read up on this dance, this…ballet. I still do not understand."

Wolverine covered his eyes,

"Someone end this insanity already! I was better off fighting the Hulk!"

Beast was stunned,

"You have demeaned a worthy dance, Persiana13, by making those two dance this!"

**Hey, that's not my problem. My problem is ratings. If you don't want to see it, you can tell the fans why not. **

Jean was horrified,

"Don't make us face them! They're just as insane as you are!"

**Hey, no one bashes my fans! **

The author whipped out a rocket launcher and fired. Jean ran,

"HELP! HE'S NUTS!"

Red Witch smirked,

"Now that that's out of the way…get dancing you two!"

As Pietro and Xi did ballet, the two attempted to execute all the required ballet stunts; pirouettes, turns, spins, but they kept getting in each other's way. Finally, Pietro hefted Xi into the air, but fell down, Xi on top. Pietro yelled in pain,

"MY BACK! I LANDED ON A NAIL! MY BACK!"  
Xi shrugged,

"I feel fine."

Xi got up and broke his ankle,

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

Red Witch covered her face,

"I work with idiots."

**You're telling me? **

Red Witch said,

"Let's just go to the judges before I decide to shoot someone."

**As long as I am NOWHERE in your line of fire, please, proceed. **

Cobra Commander shouted,

"You call that dancing? The drunks at the last Cobra Christmas party had more talent than you! Zero!"  
**Is that where you got your first kiss, Commander? **

Cobra Commander said,

"Yes it was…WHO TOLD YOU THAT!"

Emma Frost rolled her eyes,

"You two are pathetic. Zero."

Pietro was stunned,

"You can't mean that!"

He turned to Magneto,

"Daddy?"  
Magneto shrugged,

"Sorry, Pietro. Zero for me too."

Pietro cried,

"You don't know talent! I'm gonna be better than all of you someday!"

He ran away, sobbing. Xi blinked,

"Well, he's not going to be my dance partner anymore."

**It looks that way. Well, when we return from our commercial break-. **

Beast asked,

"Who do you have sponsoring this insanity?"

Beast got hit with an electric eel,

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

**As I was saying, when we return, we're going to see another Misfit couple that is DYING to get on stage. Stay tuned!  
**

Next Chapter:

The Insanity continues!


	8. Chapter 8

**Dancing Fools 5 **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Marvel or Hasbro. I own Farrah/Persiana and Lance/Diablos. Red Witch owns the Misfits! Dancing with the Stars belongs to ABC. _

Chapter 8: Goddess of Pain 

Multiple ran by,

"TRINITY! GET AWAY FROM ME!"

Daria ran by,

"Come back here, handsome!"  
Brittany ran by,

"We want to kiss you!"

Quinn ran by,

"Along with a lot of other things!"

The three of them all ran off camera. Diablos blinked,

"Why does this remind of me someone I know?"

He turned to Farrah. Farrah shook her head,

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

Deadpool entered,

"Persiana13, I am finished with the operation."

**Good, get Miss Stryker out of here and over to ABC studios. **

Deadpool left. The author called out,

**Quit getting blood all over my set. I don't want any evidence to be linked back to me! **

The author muttered,

**Idiot. **

Red Witch asked,

"You're sending a cross-dressing Stryker to ABC studios? Why? He's going to tell you where he was."

**I know. When Deadpool had 'her' in surgery, I had Professor Xavier wipe 'her' mind. Stryker thinks that 'she' is an activist for mutants now. **

Red Witch winced,

"Oh, that is going to end badly. Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy. Or girl. Whatever."

Red Witch grinned,

"Say, do you think you could do this to Senator Kelly and General Eddington as well?"  
Kelly was horrified,

"I am not having that maniac touch me!"  
Eddington was equally horrified,

"You're insane, Persiana13! You ought to be brought up on treason charges!"

**I'd be careful what I say around here, General. You never know if I have some…incriminating evidence on you. **

The author smirked evilly. Whithalf had the same smirk,

"I remember that."

Eddington shook his head,

"What are you talking about?"

**Oh, nothing, really. I just happen to have a tape of you and a certain congressman's teenage daughter, who, by the way, IS underage, going over some…invasion plans, shall we say? I'd keep my mouth shut if I were you. **

Eddington was furious,

"THIS IS EXTORTION!"

**Me, extortion? Do I look like the type?  
**Everyone shouted,

"YES!"

The author blinked,

**You're right, I would. **

Red Witch smirked,

"Now that that's settled-."

Storm shouted from backstage,

"SHIPWRECK, QUIT TRYING TO GRAB MY ASS!"

Lightning flashed. Shipwreck entered, singed,

"What a woman! I think I'm in love."

Beast rolled his eyes,

"So we've noticed."

Red Witch called out,

"Come on, Storm. We're waiting."

Storm said from backstage,

"I'm not coming out."

**Shipwreck, go get her drunk and her bring her out here. **

Storm screamed,

"Don't you dare! I'm coming out."

She entered, dressed in scandalous white dress,

"Who designed this dress, anyway?"

Farrah raised her hand,

"That'd be me, Stormy. Trust me, I've worn less."

Storm blinked,

"Why do I believe that? This can't be any more degrading."  
**Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, Storm and Shipwreck will be dancing…the sexy samba! **

Storm groaned,

"It just did. Goddess, I hate my life."

Shipwreck grinned,

"You heard the man. Let's make this dance sexy!"

As the two were dancing, Shipwreck occasionally groped Storm more than he should. Storm swore in her head and threatens very unspeakable acts of torture when she was done. Both were very good dancers, keeping rhythm. When the dance was over, the author said,

**Stirring performance. Let's go to the judges. **

Cobra Commander declared,

"Very good performance. Nine!"

Emma Frost applauded,

"A very sensuous dance indeed. Nine!"

Magneto drooled at the dress,

"TEN!"

Red Witch said approvingly,

"28 points. Very good score, you two!"  
Storm nodded,

"Now that that's settled…"

She turned to Shipwreck and unleashed hail stones,

"THIS IS FOR GRABBING MY ASS!"

Shipwreck ran, still being pelted with hailstones,

"You know, this is only proving you love me more!"

Storm, wielding an axe, screeched,

"DIE! DIE! DIE!"

**Well, that was eventful. Hopefully, my studio can stand up after this. Luckily, I got all sorts of insurance on this place, just in case. Well, anyway, we have one more couple to go through the night. Stay tuned. **

Cobra Commander: Thank God. SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF THIS NUT HOUSE!

He then got hit with a mallet and knocked unconscious.

Next Chapter:

The Final Couple.


	9. Chapter 9

**Dancing Fools 5 **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Marvel or Hasbro. I own Farrah/Persiana and Lance/Diablos. Red Witch owns the Misfits. Dancing with the Stars belongs to ABC. _

Chapter 9: The Frog Prince 

**Ladies and gentlemen; we have one more couple to see perform tonight-. **

The audience and judges cheered. The author shouted,

**HEY! I AM NOT DONE! **

The audience calmed down and the author continued,

**Now, our last couple for the evening is Toad and Althea. **

Cobra Commander: Wait, so we've got an amphibian and Ariel the mermaid finishing up the night?"

He got hit with a mallet,

"OW!"

**Cobra Commander, let me tell you something; you'll sit there and judge this couple, or I'll release that tape of the Cobra Christmas party where you were madly making out with Destro!  
**Destro was frantic,

"HE WAS DRUNK! HE THOUGHT I WAS A LIGHTHOUSE!"

Baroness chuckled,

"Well, you two WERE under the mistletoe, and you didn't exactly turn him down, either."

Destro complained,

"He came on to me! What was I supposed to do, say no?"  
Gen. Hawk said,

"Shooting him might help."

Destro blinked,

"Why can't I think of things like that?"

Mystique shrugged,

"The idea of giving Graydon Creed a sex change never occurred to me either. Huh, maybe I should get more of my crazy ideas from Persiana13. He seems to be in the know when it comes to torture."

Red Witch scowled,

"What about me? I torture you guys plenty, Misty!"

Mystique groaned,

"Oh, please don't call me that. Please."

Red Witch taunted,

"Why, Misty? Afraid someone might steal your Poke Balls?"

The audience snickered. Mystique groaned,

"On second thought, I'll keep my mouth shut."

**Good idea. Now, Toad and Althea are going to be dancing a very…provocative dance. **

Shipwreck limped on camera,

"I'm protesting this! I don't want my daughter to be the victim of some sick fantasy you and the readers have about Toad and Althea."

**Shipwreck, I'm surprised at you. I mean, it is only a mature rated erotica fic. It's not like it's going to go on an adult fan fiction web site. **

The author shifted his eyes quickly,

**Besides, I do happen to have a mature rated one-shot somewhere where you and Storm are in hot bed action together. **

Red Witch asked,

"Do you really write these types of stories?"

The author smiled,

**I just like to keep things going, and a little extortion helps. **

Shipwreck blinked,

"Wait, you have a mature one shot with me and Storm?"  
**Yep. In fact, it's just in my office, next to the liquor. Feel free to take it and the booze. **

Shipwreck said,

"First I want to read this fiction. Then, I'll decide."

Shipwreck left. The author dialed his phone,

**He's coming. You know what to do. **

The sounds of a struggle could be heard, followed by Shipwreck's screams. Shipwreck asked,

"What's going on here?"

He got knocked out, dragged into unmarked van. The van screeched out of the parking lot. Red Witch asked,

"What was that?"

**Oh, earlier I called several of my fans to help out taking care of annoyances like this. Don't worry; they're only going to bury him alive somewhere. **

Toad entered in a suit,

"Yo, what are we dancing?"  
**You two are going to dance…the Mambo! **

Althea, in demure, yet revealing dress, entered,

"Does my father know about this?"  
**No, he's playing with my insane readers. By that, I mean they're probably going to hurt him a lot. **

Althea asked,

"So, nothing I need to worry about, right?"  
Red Witch nodded,

"Yeah, pretty much. Let's get this over with!"  
As Toad and Althea danced the mambo, the two were turning up the sensual heat and made every movement as graceful as the next. When it was over, the author said,

**Wonderful performance. Let's go to the judges! **

Cobra Commander applauded,

"Excellent performance! I was deeply moved. Ten!"

Emma Frost smirked,

"I like it. You two definitely have talent, and, in a big way! Ten!"

Magneto was stunned,

"Since when can you dance like that, Toad? I never knew that!"  
Toad shrugged,

"I'm full of surprises."

Magneto smiled,

"You certainly are. TEN!"

Red Witch declared,

"Thirty points. You're tied for first with Blob and Dragonfly! Yay!"

She fired the bean bag gun that launches electric eels wildly, hitting Jean, Gambit, Rogue, Cyclops, Emma Frost, Hawk, Eddington, Whithalf, Diablos, Tabitha, Sam, Magma, and Destro. Those that were hit yelled out,

"OW! ZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPP!"

Next Chapter:  
The Finale!


	10. Chapter 10

**Dancing Fools 5 **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Marvel or Hasbro. I own Farrah/Persiana and Lance/Diablos. Red Witch owns the Misfits! _

Chapter 10: Finale! 

**Well, ladies and gentlemen, we've had a lot of fun on today's show! **

Cobra Commander yelled,

"We haven't! We kept getting hit!"

He got hit with a mallet,

"OW! You see!"

Red Witch rolled her eyes,

"Whatever. Now, for all those that want to call in, do so after the show. Not earlier; you're votes won't count."

Multiple, broadcasting from TV, said,

"This just in, from the Multiple News Network: A woman matching Rev. Styrker's description was seen heading into ABC studios earlier today and was presently condemning the recent mutant hating actions and tried to endorse a 'Hug-a-Mutant' foundation. This led to a bullet riddled corpse falling thirty stories from the building, and permanently paving the streets with blood. It is confirmed at this hour that it is in fact, Rev. Stryker who was killed."

He shuffled the papers,

"In a related story, Persiana13's whereabouts continue to remain unknown at this time. It is rumored that he and Red Witch have fled the country in order to escape massive copyright lawsuits from ABC studios. Police are warning the general public to stay away from these two individuals, who have been known to commit extortion in exchange for random acts of insanity. This is Jamie Madrox, reporting from the Multiple News Network news desk. Thank you and good night."

**Huh, what do you know? I'm a wanted fugitive. I think I'll go to the Caymans for a few months, till the heat dies down. **

The author rushed out of the studio. Red Witch said,

"I think I'll join him."

She also rushed out; the sounds of a plane taking off could be heard.

After a few moments of awkward silence, Magneto asked,

"Did he lock us in here?"

Beast observed,

"It would appear so."

Magneto screamed,

"NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!"

Wanda yelled,

"Shut up!"

She hit Magneto over the head with a mallet, smiling,

"That's better. Now, I know this thing works."

Blob finished,

"And knowing is half the battle."

An awkward silence followed. Professor Xavier said exhaustively,

"I'm going to go get drunk."

Gen. Hawk said,

"I'll think I'll join you."

End of Dancing Fools 5


End file.
